Welcome to the Premier Offering of
The Murray Method® VIDEO Series
"A GUIDELINE FOR LIVING"
The Murray Method® invites you to embark on a transformative journey with our impactful video series, “A Guideline for Living.” Designed to empower individuals from all walks of life, this series provides the tools and insights needed to achieve personal and professional growth.
This premier offering features 18 special videos that will guide you on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing, and relationship enhancement. Whether you are part of the general public seeking personal development or a health professional, this series is tailored to meet your needs.
Through the “A Guideline for Living” series, you will:
- Gain a deeper understanding of yourself and others
- Heal from past wounds and overcome personal struggles
- Strengthen your relationships through effective communication and conflict resolution
- Make conscious, informed decisions that align with your values and aspirations
- Navigate times of crisis with resilience and clarity
- Become balanced and healthy, personally and professionally
As a special bonus, when you purchase video access, you’ll receive an exclusive SPECIAL GIFT to maximize your learning experience. For the first time ever, we’re providing a complimentary resource packet designed to enhance your understanding and application of the Murray Method® principles.
This valuable resource includes:
- A one-to-two-page summary of each video’s content
- Three to four thought-provoking questions to guide your personal and relational growth
- Visual diagrams of the therapeutic instruments taught in the videos (when applicable)
These supplementary materials are free to download and will provide a structured framework to support your learning and growth journey, both personally and professionally.
Attention Professionals: Are you a psychologist, therapist, counselor, social worker, coach, or member of the clergy looking to expand your toolkit? The “Guideline for Living” video series offers a wealth of practical, easy-to-apply therapeutic tools for your practice. As Marilyn Murray always emphasizes, clinicians should never ask clients to do something they haven’t experienced themselves. We encourage you to first apply these instruments to your own life. You will gain valuable personal insights and a deeper understanding of how these tools can effectively support your clients on their healing journey. Invest in your own growth and enhance your ability to guide others with the Murray Method®.
“I am deeply grateful to the following friends/colleagues who enabled these videos to be filmed. Without their most generous support and expertise these videos would not exist. Thank you!”
– mm
Sponsors
- New Life Counseling Center (Otis Fox, Larry Faulkner)
- New Season Church of Ventura (Pastor Rafael Robles)
- Matthew List
- Gloria List
- MarriageWell (Al & Leticia Perez)
Contributors
- Matthew Perez (Video & Editing)
- Stephanie Henderson (Graphics support)
All videos filmed January, 2022 before the invasion of Ukraine.
Free Videos
This set of complimentary videos can be accessed from this page at any time without charge.
Murray Method® Basics
Rod of Joy
Paid Video Access
The Murray Method® – Becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
While living in today’s difficult world, do you desire to find balance - physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually – and in your relationships?We believe every person…
- is who they were created to be
- has a pool of pain of some degree and intensity
- has an innate defense mechanism
- How painful issues in your life have influenced your emotions and behaviors
- The many different types of anesthetizers and diversionary tactics used by your defense mechanism
- Your natural talents and strengths – what is utilized and what is ignored or out of your awareness
- How passive-aggression and aggression develop
- Determine how you, as a Healthy Balanced Person, could function successfully - physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually – and in your relationships
$60.00
Baseline for Normal
Do you have difficulty connecting with people whose background, culture, interests, etc. are different from yours? Do you hold tightly to “traditions” even though you realize they perhaps, might not be healthy?A person’s Baseline for Normal is established by what is common and familiar in one’s life – positive, negative, and neutral - and modifies and changes over time.Issues addressed:
- Listing of factors which make up your Baseline for Normal
- How this Baseline directly influences your beliefs, behaviors and decisions -personally, professionally and in your relationships
- Recognizing Healthy factors that you want to retain
- Recognizing Unhealthy factors which you have already eliminated from your Baseline
- Acknowledging factors in your Baseline which are tradition, but are unhealthy – how to eliminate while knowing there will be push-back
- Understanding the price you pay when challenging tradition
$30.00
Building a Healthy Life
Do you find yourself often feeling insecure, unsafe, wishing you had control over your environment and other stressors?This instrument is illustrated by a diagram showing the Survival Bricks as the basic foundation of every person’s life. These Bricks compose our most primal needs – a foundation upon which all of our personal experiences and growth are based. The remainder of the diagrams lists the many other needs of every child, and of every adult and how to fill those needs.Issues addressed:
- Learn the basic Survival needs of every human being which create the foundation upon which our lives are built: Safety, Security, Stability, Consistency, and a Sense of Control Over My Environment
- The needs of the child are expanded to include items such as love, touch, attention, support, encouragement, belonging, respect, self worth, and so forth
- The needs of an adult reveal the desire for Intimacy – physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual to be a primary factor; plus other issues such as self-worth as a separate person, partner, parent, in a career, and in contribution to life
- Discover the major impact on the human psyche when these needs are not met, and/or are violated, and leave “holes” and “cracks” in a person’s emotional foundation
- Identifying your “holes” and “cracks” – how and by whom were they created
- Realizing you possibly have attempted to fill these “holes” and “cracks” with substances, activities and especially with relationships – but now recognizing they will never, ever be enough
- Understanding that only you, with God/Your Higher Power, can fill these “holes” and “cracks” and become a healthy parent to yourself.
$60.00
Building Healthy Relationships
Is intimacy – physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual – illusive in your life and relationships?Every individual is created with specific needs – both as a child, and as an adult. If these needs are filled, it forms a solid “emotional foundation” upon which you build your life. However, every person unfortunately has “holes” and “cracks” in this foundation which continue to influence their behaviors in relationships. Persons can attempt to use and make other people responsible for filling their own un-met childhood needs which results in dysfunction and destructive behaviors.Issues addressed:
- How relationships develop with mutual attraction and interest physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually
- Difficulties arise when the relationship transfers from “adult to adult” into “parent to child”
- Reviewing various relationships to determine if you are being used by others to attempt to fill their “holes” and “cracks”
- How to set boundaries and remove yourself from co-dependent relationships
- Understanding that only you, with God/Your Higher Power, can fill these “holes” and “cracks” and become a healthy parent to yourself
$25.00
Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact
Are you often overwhelmed and exhausted with work, responsibilities, activities, addictions, and chaos in your life?Are you realizing you are not congruent – that your behaviors are not reflecting your stated values?This instrument challenges you to envision what dominates your life and why you have allowed many people and pursuits to heavily impact you and your health.Issues addressed:
- Understanding you cannot care for and give to others if you do not first attend to your owns needs: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually – including your relationship with your Higher Power. It is impossible to feed others from an empty basket. “You cannot give away that which you do not have.”
- A clear insight regarding values, priorities and boundaries as they illustrate what is consistent in a healthy life-style containing people and activities.
- Realizing how people, your job, addictions, codependency and others are overwhelming and impacting your life negatively
- How to evaluate relationships and activities and place them in the appropriate “circle” in your life
$60.00
Decision Time
Are you in a relationship, job, or organization in which you feel victimized but are struggling with the decision to leave?Many persons feel “stuck” in situations in which they are being abused, disrespected and negatively impacted – yet they stay. This instrument provides clear, detailed options regarding a healthy decision.Issues addressed:
- Looking at present-day troubling emotions
- Acknowledging one’s own contribution to the difficult situation
- Options regarding staying and possible consequences
- Options regarding leaving with peace of heart and mind
$30.00
Five Stages of Recovery
Are you angry about events you experienced years ago and struggle with forgiveness?Do you think your childhood was “perfect” but suffer with emotional and/or physical problems?You may have heard of the 5 Stages of Grief created by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross regarding the stages of Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance which are present during times of major loss such as death, divorce, job, home, or robbery. I found individuals are similarly impacted during their personal therapeutic journey and have expanded Dr. Kubler-Ross’ concept by adapting it to stages of recovery and restoration, rather than stages of loss.Issues addressed:
- Focus on Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Grief and Acceptance/Forgiveness regarding any person or event that caused (or is causing) significant pain in your life.
- Recognizing that you can become “stuck” at any Stage and imped your ability to move to recovery and restoration
- Emphasizing the essential issue of Forgiveness for emotional healing in relationships.
- You may be dealing with different people at different stages for example: you may be at Stage 1-Denial with your mother, Stage 2-Anger with an ex-spouse, and Stage 5-Acceptance with your father.
$35.00
Five Ways to Say Yes and No
Do you often agree to do something when you really wish you had said, “No”? Are you struggling with handling a current crisis when you already are overwhelmed with other responsibilities?This instrument presents five specific types of responses to requests from others, including factors to aid in the decision.Issues addressed:
- Guidelines regarding healthy and respectful affirmative and negative responses to a request
- Setting appropriate Boundaries
- Responsibility when a family member, or close friend, has a disability, or is in crisis. How to care for one’s own health in such a situation, especially if it becomes long-term.
$25.00
Healthy and Unhealthy Systems
Is discerning an unhealthy system difficult for you?Is an unhealthy system the norm for your family of origin or culture?We live in a multitude of systems: family, ethnic, cultural, educational, business, governmental, religious, etc. and are influenced by them all. Some of the systems are healthy but many are unhealthy and create great stress in our lives. It is helpful to understand how to clearly identify the types of systems which impact you daily.Issues addressed:
- A Healthy Systemhas boundaries which are flexible and adaptable. People within this system are encouraged to think for themselves, to be responsible, to grow and develop their potential, yet have healthy boundaries for protection and guidance. It is based upon love and mutual respect and is open to new ideas.
- Two major Unhealthy Systems:
- Unquestioned Obedience to AuthorityThis controlling system has high walls, rigid rules and rejects all outside influences. The people within have no right to object and are vulnerable to abuse by the authority.
- No Rules – No Boundaries!This system is based upon feeling entitled “…to do what I want to do when I want to do it!” It leads to addictions and irresponsibility. Without boundaries, children raised in this system lack protection and guidance and suffer from neglect.
$35.00
Journaling the Parts
Have you ever experienced confusing and/or conflicting emotions and thoughts when trying to make decisions? Do you often listen only to your “loudest” inner voice when making choices?All of us have times when we feel there are several internal voices who have differing ideas about a choice we need to make. In this exercise, you will find a clear path regarding how to honor and listen to each of those ideas, and then make a healthy decision which respects all input.Issues addressed:
- Acknowledging pain – physical and emotional and their source
- Respecting your defense mechanisms concerns regarding your personal welfare
- Listening to the aspects of yourself that desire joy and fulfillment in your life
- Finding a healthy parental voice who balances the needs of all with wisdom and maturity
$25.00
Negotiables and Non-Negotiables
Have you been in relationships where you have many things in common which you both enjoy, yet there are certain vital aspects missing which cause the relationship to suffer and/or end.This powerful instrument provides a visual to evaluate and compare your personal Non-Negotiable values with other important people in your life. You will understand why you are having difficulty even thought things may appear well on the surface.Issues addressed:
- You are challenged to ascertain your personal Non-Negotiable values – those you do not want to sacrifice
- Seek to identify the Non-Negotiable values of the person whose relationship is an issue for you
- Distinguish all the areas in which you both agree and enjoy the same activities, beliefs, values, and so forth
- Recognize the areas in your Non-Negotiable list and your partner’s Non-Negotiables that are missing or are conflicting
- Acknowledge what you have sacrificed in your Non-Negotiables in order to maintain this relationship
$30.00
Past and Present Pool of Pain
Do you, or the persons with whom you communicate, often overreact and make a proverbial “mountain out of a mole-hill”?One of our most popular instruments clearly demonstrates why people overreact and challenges each person to take responsibility for cleansing their own pool of pain.Issues addressed:
- When you were a child, if no one taught you to express emotions in a healthy manner, your emotions became suppressed and created a Pool of Pain. Everyone has a Pool of Pain of some degree and intensity – no one has had a perfect life.
- As an adult, if you experience an event in which you feel emotions similar to painful ones from your past, your past and present emotions can collide and cause you to overreact at an 8, 9, or 10 (on a scale of 1-10) instead of an appropriate 1, 2, or 3.
- It is essential that you addresses and begin to empty your own Pool of Pain if healthy relationships are to emerge.
- This instrument is especially helpful with couples and families.
$25.00
Recovery Prognosis
Have you found yourself questioning why some people respond well to therapy and/or 12-Step programs while others react with many differing behaviors? It will be interesting to recognize and affirm where you reside on this prognosis scale.This instrument provides a helpful scale to evaluate your own position; and especially for therapists in evaluating client prognosis.Issues addressed:
- This chart identifies eight different responses regarding an individual’s willingness to change and address genuine recovery
- You acknowledge your personal response and whether it has changed over time and has resulted in genuine recovery and growth
- Enables you to identify and understand reactions of significant people in your life
$30.00
Roots; I am Bad
Do you often wonder about the root causes of unhealthy behaviors and sometimes question why persons react differently to the same root causations? Have you shifted and changed your attitudes and behaviors over the years – sometimes negatively?In this set of two videos. the origins of behaviors and the various reactions are described.Issues addressed:
- In ROOTS, an explanation is given regarding the definition of Trauma and of Abuse and the distinction between them; also, the definition and difference relating to Deprivation and Neglect.
- The resulting emotions are evaluated showing the consequential verdict of “I am defective; something is wrong with me; I am bad.”
- The I AM BAD diagram illustrates various responses to this internal, often unconscious, judgement.
- Some persons exhibit destructive behaviors with addictions, depression, and obvious emotional problems,
- Others use natural talents, become dependable workers, leaders, professionals and look quite successful. However, the persons who look “good” on the outside do not escape the consequences of their internal negative condemnation. They often have negative physical health issues and/or swing into arenas of addictions and other destructive behaviors.
$50.00
Safety Circles and the Relationship Playing Field
How do you deal with anger and conflict - do you often find yourself being passive-aggressive or aggressive?Do others in your personal and professional relationships also act and react in this manner? Are you tired of these destructive interactions?This circular instrument presents a Relationship Playing Field upon which all relationships interact. Its center core contains the Safety Circle – a safe zone in which you should attain to reside. The following circles extended outside the safe area: Neutral Zone, Passive-Aggressive, Aggressive, and Violent.Issues addressed:
- The Safety Circle is the space in which all communications are best enacted.
- The person with whom you are connecting may have stepped backward into the unhealthy zones as they have been raised in families and cultures where Passive-Aggression, Aggression and Violence are the “Baseline for Normal.”
- The Safety Circle contains essential boundary areas protecting you from others who continue to act and react aggressively or passive-aggressively.
- The Neutral zone is only utilized with persons with whom you do not regularly interact.
$50.00
Survival Bricks
Do you ever feel yourself being sucked into caring for someone’s else’s needs when it is not your responsibility?Do you find yourself attempting to use people, activities or substances to fill your needs and it is never, ever enough? The essential needs of every human being are like Survival Bricks which create a foundation upon which our lives are built: Safety, Security, Stability, Consistency, and a Sense of Control Over My Environment.Issues addressed:
- There is a major impact on the human psyche when these needs are not met, and/or are violated, and leave “holes” and “cracks” in our foundation.
- When you endeavor to fill these “holes” and “cracks” with substances, activities and especially with relationships – it will never, ever be enough.
- The key to change and health is the understanding that only you and your Higher Power can fill those “holes” and “cracks”as you become the healthy parent for that wounded
- Almost every conflict in marriages, families, relationships, etc. begins with a violation of one of the basic needs (Safety, Security, Stability, Consistency, and a Sense of Control Over My Environment); or, when you attempt to have another “fill your holes” and become your surrogate parent.
- To have healthy adult relationships, it is important for you to take responsibility for repairing your own foundation upon which stable relationships then can be built and maintained.
$50.00
TAPES
Do you ever hear “tapes” playing in your head constantly reminding you to do, or not do, a certain behavior? Do you feel that sometimes you react out of an unconscious drive that compels you to respond in a way that surprises you?This instrument is one of the most powerful tools in the Murray Method® as it aids in identifying and evaluating conscious and unconscious beliefs, rules and attitudes that govern and control our lives.Issues addressed:
- Recognizing all the negative “tapes” that consistently play in your mind
- Identify the source of these tapes
- Clarifying which were overt and which were covert or role-modeled
- Creating a positive response from you with God/HigherPower as a healthy parent
$30.00
Trauma Egg®; Trauma Egg® History
Do you sometimes wonder how much your past history affects your life today?Do you tend to minimize the painful experiences in your life?Do you think you had a “perfect childhood” – yet, struggle with issues today such as health problems, addictions, relationship difficulties, etc.?Have you ever done a “time-line” and could not conceive how something that happened “way back there” could possible influence your present day behavior? We do not experience life horizontally - we experience life vertically. Every behavior stacks one upon the other and thus influences the next in this accumulation of “vertical experiences”. The Trauma Egg® provides a clear illustration of this concept.Marilyn Murray was the creator of The Trauma Egg® which now is used internationally and accepted as a “Timeless Tool for Healing.” It is effectively applied in major treatment centers and by therapists from over 50 countries. Marilyn shares an interesting history regarding the inception of this instrument.Issues addressed:
- The “Nest” into which you were born is evaluated
- Specific painful events are listed with age, emotions, and impact
- Chronic long-term stressors are also listed with age, emotions, and impact
- Internal and External Positive Influences are noted and recognized as the basis for survival
$35.00
Video Clusters
Special Package Rate
Includes ALL 20 videos
- Murray Method® intro (Restoration)
- Rod of Joy
- Murray Method®-Becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
- Baseline for Normal
- Building a Healthy Life
- Building Healthy Relationships
- Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact
- Decision Time
- Five Stages of Recovery
- Healthy and Unhealthy Systems
- How to Say "Yes" and "No"
- Journaling the Parts
- Negotiables and Non-Negotiables
- Past and Present Pool of Pain
- Recovery Prognosis
- Roots; I am Bad
- Safety Circles; Relationship Playing Field
- Survival Bricks
- Tapes
- Trauma Egg®/Trauma Egg® History
Original price was: $685.00.$550.00Current price is: $550.00.
Personal Healing & Growth Package
Includes the following videos:
- Murray Method® - Becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
- Trauma Egg®; Trauma Egg® History
- Tapes
- Survival Bricks
- Roots; I am Bad
- Journaling the Parts
- Five Stages of Recovery
- How to Say "Yes" and "No"
Original price was: $310.00.$255.00Current price is: $255.00.
Creating Healthy Relationships
Includes the following videos:
- Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact
- Building a Healthy Life
- Building Healthy Relationships
- Past and Present Pool of Pain
- Safety Circles; Relationship Playing Field
- Negotiables and Non-Negotiables
Original price was: $250.00.$205.00Current price is: $205.00.
Functioning In The World
Includes the following videos:
- Baseline for Normal
- Healthy and Unhealthy Systems
- Survival Bricks
- Recovery Prognosis
- Decision Time
Original price was: $175.00.$145.00Current price is: $145.00.
The Murray Method®™ has a proven track record of transforming lives for individuals from diverse backgrounds and age groups. These therapeutic instruments are effective, easy to understand, and simple to apply in your daily life.
Invest in yourself and unlock your full potential. Purchase your video access to the “A Guideline for Living” series today and take the first step towards a brighter, more fulfilling future. Let the Murray Method®™ be your companion on the path to personal and professional excellence.
The Murray Method® videos are copyrighted and may not be sold or used in professional presentations or trainings. Thank you.