Welcome to the Premier Offering of
The Murray Method® VIDEO Series
"A GUIDELINE FOR LIVING"
The Murray Method® invites you to embark on a transformative journey with our impactful video series, “A Guideline for Living.” Designed to empower individuals from all walks of life, this series provides the tools and insights needed to achieve personal and professional growth.
This premier offering features 18 special videos that will guide you on a journey of self-discovery, emotional healing, and relationship enhancement. Whether you are part of the general public seeking personal development or a health professional, this series is tailored to meet your needs.
Through the “A Guideline for Living” series, you will:
- Gain a deeper understanding of yourself and others
- Heal from past wounds and overcome personal struggles
- Strengthen your relationships through effective communication and conflict resolution
- Make conscious, informed decisions that align with your values and aspirations
- Navigate times of crisis with resilience and clarity
- Become balanced and healthy, personally and professionally
As a special bonus, when you purchase video access, you’ll receive an exclusive SPECIAL GIFT to maximize your learning experience. For the first time ever, we’re providing a complimentary resource packet designed to enhance your understanding and application of the Murray Method® principles.
This valuable resource includes:
- A one-to-two-page summary of each video’s content
- Three to four thought-provoking questions to guide your personal and relational growth
- Visual diagrams of the therapeutic instruments taught in the videos (when applicable)
These supplementary materials are free to download and will provide a structured framework to support your learning and growth journey, both personally and professionally.
Attention Professionals: Are you a psychologist, therapist, counselor, social worker, coach, or member of the clergy looking to expand your toolkit? The “Guideline for Living” video series offers a wealth of practical, easy-to-apply therapeutic tools for your practice. As Marilyn Murray always emphasizes, clinicians should never ask clients to do something they haven’t experienced themselves. We encourage you to first apply these instruments to your own life. You will gain valuable personal insights and a deeper understanding of how these tools can effectively support your clients on their healing journey. Invest in your own growth and enhance your ability to guide others with the Murray Method®.
“I am deeply grateful to the following friends/colleagues who enabled these videos to be filmed. Without their most generous support and expertise these videos would not exist. Thank you!”
– mm
Sponsors
- New Life Counseling Center (Otis Fox, Larry Faulkner)
- New Season Church of Ventura (Pastor Rafael Robles)
- Matthew List
- Gloria List
- MarriageWell (Al & Leticia Perez)
Contributors
- Matthew Perez (Video & Editing)
- Stephanie Henderson (Graphics support)
All videos filmed January, 2022 before the invasion of Ukraine.
Free Videos
Murray Method® Basics
Rod of Joy
Paid Video Access
The Murray Method® – Becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
- is who they were created to be
- has a pool of pain of some degree and intensity
- has an innate defense mechanism
- How painful issues in your life have influenced your emotions and behaviors
- The many different types of anesthetizers and diversionary tactics used by your defense mechanism
- Your natural talents and strengths – what is utilized and what is ignored or out of your awareness
- How passive-aggression and aggression develop
- Determine how you, as a Healthy Balanced Person, could function successfully - physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually – and in your relationships

$60.00
Baseline for Normal
- Listing of factors which make up your Baseline for Normal
- How this Baseline directly influences your beliefs, behaviors and decisions -personally, professionally and in your relationships
- Recognizing Healthy factors that you want to retain
- Recognizing Unhealthy factors which you have already eliminated from your Baseline
- Acknowledging factors in your Baseline which are tradition, but are unhealthy – how to eliminate while knowing there will be push-back
- Understanding the price you pay when challenging tradition

$30.00
Building a Healthy Life
- Learn the basic Survival needs of every human being which create the foundation upon which our lives are built: Safety, Security, Stability, Consistency, and a Sense of Control Over My Environment
- The needs of the child are expanded to include items such as love, touch, attention, support, encouragement, belonging, respect, self worth, and so forth
- The needs of an adult reveal the desire for Intimacy – physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual to be a primary factor; plus other issues such as self-worth as a separate person, partner, parent, in a career, and in contribution to life
- Discover the major impact on the human psyche when these needs are not met, and/or are violated, and leave “holes” and “cracks” in a person’s emotional foundation
- Identifying your “holes” and “cracks” – how and by whom were they created
- Realizing you possibly have attempted to fill these “holes” and “cracks” with substances, activities and especially with relationships – but now recognizing they will never, ever be enough
- Understanding that only you, with God/Your Higher Power, can fill these “holes” and “cracks” and become a healthy parent to yourself.

$60.00
Building Healthy Relationships
- How relationships develop with mutual attraction and interest physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually
- Difficulties arise when the relationship transfers from “adult to adult” into “parent to child”
- Reviewing various relationships to determine if you are being used by others to attempt to fill their “holes” and “cracks”
- How to set boundaries and remove yourself from co-dependent relationships
- Understanding that only you, with God/Your Higher Power, can fill these “holes” and “cracks” and become a healthy parent to yourself

$25.00
Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact
- Understanding you cannot care for and give to others if you do not first attend to your owns needs: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually – including your relationship with your Higher Power. It is impossible to feed others from an empty basket. “You cannot give away that which you do not have.”
- A clear insight regarding values, priorities and boundaries as they illustrate what is consistent in a healthy life-style containing people and activities.
- Realizing how people, your job, addictions, codependency and others are overwhelming and impacting your life negatively
- How to evaluate relationships and activities and place them in the appropriate “circle” in your life

$60.00
Decision Time
- Looking at present-day troubling emotions
- Acknowledging one’s own contribution to the difficult situation
- Options regarding staying and possible consequences
- Options regarding leaving with peace of heart and mind

$30.00
Five Stages of Recovery
- Focus on Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Grief and Acceptance/Forgiveness regarding any person or event that caused (or is causing) significant pain in your life.
- Recognizing that you can become “stuck” at any Stage and imped your ability to move to recovery and restoration
- Emphasizing the essential issue of Forgiveness for emotional healing in relationships.
- You may be dealing with different people at different stages for example: you may be at Stage 1-Denial with your mother, Stage 2-Anger with an ex-spouse, and Stage 5-Acceptance with your father.

$35.00
Five Ways to Say Yes and No
- Guidelines regarding healthy and respectful affirmative and negative responses to a request
- Setting appropriate Boundaries
- Responsibility when a family member, or close friend, has a disability, or is in crisis. How to care for one’s own health in such a situation, especially if it becomes long-term.

$25.00
Healthy and Unhealthy Systems
- A Healthy Systemhas boundaries which are flexible and adaptable. People within this system are encouraged to think for themselves, to be responsible, to grow and develop their potential, yet have healthy boundaries for protection and guidance. It is based upon love and mutual respect and is open to new ideas.
- Two major Unhealthy Systems:
- Unquestioned Obedience to AuthorityThis controlling system has high walls, rigid rules and rejects all outside influences. The people within have no right to object and are vulnerable to abuse by the authority.
- No Rules – No Boundaries!This system is based upon feeling entitled “…to do what I want to do when I want to do it!” It leads to addictions and irresponsibility. Without boundaries, children raised in this system lack protection and guidance and suffer from neglect.

$35.00
Journaling the Parts
- Acknowledging pain – physical and emotional and their source
- Respecting your defense mechanisms concerns regarding your personal welfare
- Listening to the aspects of yourself that desire joy and fulfillment in your life
- Finding a healthy parental voice who balances the needs of all with wisdom and maturity

$25.00
Negotiables and Non-Negotiables
- You are challenged to ascertain your personal Non-Negotiable values – those you do not want to sacrifice
- Seek to identify the Non-Negotiable values of the person whose relationship is an issue for you
- Distinguish all the areas in which you both agree and enjoy the same activities, beliefs, values, and so forth
- Recognize the areas in your Non-Negotiable list and your partner’s Non-Negotiables that are missing or are conflicting
- Acknowledge what you have sacrificed in your Non-Negotiables in order to maintain this relationship

$30.00
Past and Present Pool of Pain
- When you were a child, if no one taught you to express emotions in a healthy manner, your emotions became suppressed and created a Pool of Pain. Everyone has a Pool of Pain of some degree and intensity – no one has had a perfect life.
- As an adult, if you experience an event in which you feel emotions similar to painful ones from your past, your past and present emotions can collide and cause you to overreact at an 8, 9, or 10 (on a scale of 1-10) instead of an appropriate 1, 2, or 3.
- It is essential that you addresses and begin to empty your own Pool of Pain if healthy relationships are to emerge.
- This instrument is especially helpful with couples and families.

$25.00
Recovery Prognosis
- This chart identifies eight different responses regarding an individual’s willingness to change and address genuine recovery
- You acknowledge your personal response and whether it has changed over time and has resulted in genuine recovery and growth
- Enables you to identify and understand reactions of significant people in your life

$30.00
Roots; I am Bad
- In ROOTS, an explanation is given regarding the definition of Trauma and of Abuse and the distinction between them; also, the definition and difference relating to Deprivation and Neglect.
- The resulting emotions are evaluated showing the consequential verdict of “I am defective; something is wrong with me; I am bad.”
- The I AM BAD diagram illustrates various responses to this internal, often unconscious, judgement.
- Some persons exhibit destructive behaviors with addictions, depression, and obvious emotional problems,
- Others use natural talents, become dependable workers, leaders, professionals and look quite successful. However, the persons who look “good” on the outside do not escape the consequences of their internal negative condemnation. They often have negative physical health issues and/or swing into arenas of addictions and other destructive behaviors.

$50.00
Safety Circles and the Relationship Playing Field
- The Safety Circle is the space in which all communications are best enacted.
- The person with whom you are connecting may have stepped backward into the unhealthy zones as they have been raised in families and cultures where Passive-Aggression, Aggression and Violence are the “Baseline for Normal.”
- The Safety Circle contains essential boundary areas protecting you from others who continue to act and react aggressively or passive-aggressively.
- The Neutral zone is only utilized with persons with whom you do not regularly interact.

$50.00
Survival Bricks
- There is a major impact on the human psyche when these needs are not met, and/or are violated, and leave “holes” and “cracks” in our foundation.
- When you endeavor to fill these “holes” and “cracks” with substances, activities and especially with relationships – it will never, ever be enough.
- The key to change and health is the understanding that only you and your Higher Power can fill those “holes” and “cracks”as you become the healthy parent for that wounded
- Almost every conflict in marriages, families, relationships, etc. begins with a violation of one of the basic needs (Safety, Security, Stability, Consistency, and a Sense of Control Over My Environment); or, when you attempt to have another “fill your holes” and become your surrogate parent.
- To have healthy adult relationships, it is important for you to take responsibility for repairing your own foundation upon which stable relationships then can be built and maintained.

$50.00
TAPES
- Recognizing all the negative “tapes” that consistently play in your mind
- Identify the source of these tapes
- Clarifying which were overt and which were covert or role-modeled
- Creating a positive response from you with God/HigherPower as a healthy parent

$30.00
Trauma Egg®; Trauma Egg® History
- The “Nest” into which you were born is evaluated
- Specific painful events are listed with age, emotions, and impact
- Chronic long-term stressors are also listed with age, emotions, and impact
- Internal and External Positive Influences are noted and recognized as the basis for survival

$35.00
Video Clusters
Special Package Rate
- Murray Method® intro (Restoration)
- Rod of Joy
- Murray Method®-Becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
- Baseline for Normal
- Building a Healthy Life
- Building Healthy Relationships
- Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact
- Decision Time
- Five Stages of Recovery
- Healthy and Unhealthy Systems
- How to Say "Yes" and "No"
- Journaling the Parts
- Negotiables and Non-Negotiables
- Past and Present Pool of Pain
- Recovery Prognosis
- Roots; I am Bad
- Safety Circles; Relationship Playing Field
- Survival Bricks
- Tapes
- Trauma Egg®/Trauma Egg® History

$685.00 Original price was: $685.00.$550.00Current price is: $550.00.
Personal Healing & Growth Package
- Murray Method® - Becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
- Trauma Egg®; Trauma Egg® History
- Tapes
- Survival Bricks
- Roots; I am Bad
- Journaling the Parts
- Five Stages of Recovery
- How to Say "Yes" and "No"

$310.00 Original price was: $310.00.$255.00Current price is: $255.00.
Creating Healthy Relationships
- Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact
- Building a Healthy Life
- Building Healthy Relationships
- Past and Present Pool of Pain
- Safety Circles; Relationship Playing Field
- Negotiables and Non-Negotiables

$250.00 Original price was: $250.00.$205.00Current price is: $205.00.
Functioning In The World
- Baseline for Normal
- Healthy and Unhealthy Systems
- Survival Bricks
- Recovery Prognosis
- Decision Time

$175.00 Original price was: $175.00.$145.00Current price is: $145.00.
The Murray Method®™ has a proven track record of transforming lives for individuals from diverse backgrounds and age groups. These therapeutic instruments are effective, easy to understand, and simple to apply in your daily life.
Invest in yourself and unlock your full potential. Purchase your video access to the “A Guideline for Living” series today and take the first step towards a brighter, more fulfilling future. Let the Murray Method®™ be your companion on the path to personal and professional excellence.
The Murray Method® videos are copyrighted and may not be sold or used in professional presentations or trainings. Thank you.