Becoming Who You Were Created To Be

Description & Requirements

During the workshops you will:

  • Gain clear knowledge of concepts and techniques that will assist you on your personal healing journey
  • Receive helpful, practical tools and handouts that are easy to understand and use – they are memorable, effective, and readily transferable
  • Learn of the impact of trauma, abuse and deprivation on the human spirit and how these painful events can be detrimental to personal and relational health; and how to begin the healing process from these events by effectively and safely accessing and releasing them
  • Become aware of the manners in which persons survive trauma and abuse and the ensuing defense mechanisms – both healthy and unhealthy
  • Increase your knowledge regarding the root causes of many addictions and co-dependencies and their correlation with trauma, abuse and deprivation
  • Gain an understanding of your own inner process as you reclaim and restore the person you were designed you to be
  • Acquire clear guidelines and information regarding the setting of healthy personal and relational boundaries
  • Confirm your positive strengths and also confront personal issues that need elimination to enable the process of becoming a Healthy Balanced Person
  • Find new empathy and compassion for others as you become aware of the commonality of pain in the lives of every person
  • Obtain a new awareness of the importance of BALANCE in one’s life – in all areas: intellectual, physical, emotional, and spiritual
  • Discover the joy of intimacy with God, self and others

Requirements for attendance:

  • Be at least eighteen years of age;
  • Have a commitment to personal growth;
  • Have a willingness to be open, honest and to address own issues;
  • Be responsive to both cognitive and experiential work;
  • Be willing to commitment time for both class work and home tasks;
  • Honor punctuality

Who may attend:

  • Individuals
  • Couples

A program originated to help you become who you were designed to be… a Healthy Balanced Person – Emotionally, Intellectually, Spiritually, and Physically. The Murray Method is not intended to replace your personal therapy. The instructor reserves the right to determine if a person is appropriate to participate. Attendance required at all sessions for Levels I, II and III.

Level I


Level I highlights awareness and understanding regarding the development of each individual’s personal growth and behavior as determined by his/her innate strengths, life experiences, family influences and environment.

Course duration: 

4 days, 28 hours, plus homework; attendance required at all sessions.


  • Emphasis is placed on Balance in Health – Physically, Emotionally, Intellectually and Spiritually, and in Relationships
  • The “Bricks of Survival” are presented as each individual’s most basic needs – a foundation upon which all of one’s personal experiences and growth are based
  • The “Circles of Intimacy, Responsibility and Impact” are introduced which provide a format for identifying priorities and boundaries in relationships and activities
  • A “Trauma Egg” is created by each participant as a visual record of painful and difficult issues in their life

Each participant:

  • Draws a representation of their pain
  • Discusses their defense mechanisms as a child and as an adult and draws these defenses
  • Discloses how they contribute to dysfunction in relationships; admits when they have moved from “victim to victimizer” – when they are aggressive and passive-aggressive, and draws these behaviors
  • Focuses on their natural talents and abilities – on who they were designed to be
  • Learns how to become a Healthy Balanced Person – a combination of Physical, Emotional, Intellectual and Spiritual including natural talents and abilities – plus empathy, appropriate boundaries and the capacity for healthy relationships
  • Begins to realize that one cannot experience intimacy with another person (or even God) until they are intimate with and know and understand themselves

The sessions will be conducted with time devoted to didactic instruction and to experiential work.

Level II


Level II stresses the importance of individual responsibility for one’s own actions with emphasis on an understanding of healthy and unhealthy behaviors.  Participants are introduced to many therapeutic instruments which can be immediately applicable personally, professionally and in their relationships

Course duration: 

8 days, 56 hours, plus homework; attendance required at all sessions.


  • Congruency between stated Values and Behaviors is addressed with participants challenged to examine their personal authenticity in these areas; instruments are provided to enable this evaluation
  • The Past and Present Pool of Pain presents an understanding of why persons over-react to situations by showing the consequences of suppressed emotions and the correlation of this suppression with present-day reactions
  • The Circles of Intimacy are revisited with interactive scenarios
  • Roots provides an understanding of the definition of: “Trauma,” “Abuse,” “Deprivation,” and “Neglect” and the resulting emotions; a diagram visualizes these Roots as the fuel which causes the flames of Anger, Resentment, Shame, Fear, Pain, etc.
  • The I Am Bad diagram illustrates four general responses to the deeply internalized belief that “I am defective and not valuable;” this destructive mantra creates unhealthy behavior of varying degrees
  • The Healthy Balanced Person is diagramed with interactive role-play
  • The positives and negatives of remaining a: Victim/Child, Co-Dependent, Victimizer, and a Healthy Balance Person are investigated
  • Recognizing, deleting and replacing overt and covert internal destructive Tapes which influence behavior and beliefs
  • Reasons for the inability to give up Co-Dependency are presented and discussed
  • The Wounded Relationships” instrument is illustrated as an example of how persons attempt to use and make other persons responsible for filling their own un-met childhood needs and the dysfunction that results from this destructive behavior
  • Healthy and Unhealthy Systems are diagramed, and information provided to enable participants to analyze and determine the status of various systems (family of origin, present family, work, school, etc.)
  • How to Handle a Feeling (with list of emotions by category) and Five Ways to Say “Yes” and “No” are presented
  • Five Stages of Recovery are introduced with emphasis on methods to release anger in a healthy manner without becoming a victimizer, and how to forgive by separating the person from the deed.
  • The Safety Circle and the Relationship Playing Field are presented with role-play addressing how to avoid becoming passive-aggressive, aggressive and/or violent
  • An understanding one’s own Triggers is developed by addressing past trauma, abuse and deprivation and how the resulting emotions affect and disrupt present-day behavior
  • A discernment of the definition of Wisdom, and also of inner Joy are developed
  • Participants are challenged to experience a paradigm shift toward balanced health – personally, professionally and in their relationships – and to be congruent with their words and behaviors

Level III


Level III provides further discussion of unhealthy systems; expansion of understanding addictions and dysfunctional behaviors; and addresses both individual and relationship issues. Emphasis is placed on enabling persons to move out of a “stuck” position and actively apply new methods of healthy behaviors – personally and in their relationships.

Course duration: 

5 days, 35 hours, plus homework; attendance required at all sessions.


  • Review of Levels I and II in which participants relate any questions or area which are unclear.
  • Expands the understanding of our Baseline for Normal and how to create a healthy, new Baseline
  • Explanation regarding the genesis of neural pathways, and how they can be changed
  • Causations and Alternatives for Addictions and Dysfunctional Behaviors are illustrated and demonstrate the necessity of all areas being addressed before sobriety can be attained and maintained
  • An expansion of the Wounded Relationship is given which lists the primary needs of both the child and the adult
  • Decision Time offers a step-by-step program to enable options for persons stuck in unhealthy, destructive systems and relationships
  • Negotiables and Non-Negotiables are demonstrated through role-play regarding how to evaluate the potential of long-term relationships and activities
  • Fields as Relationships are shown by illustrations correlating relationship types and various landscapes; students are provided with outlines regarding how to apply the instruments gained thus far in the Method in the preparation and maintenance of healthy relationships