Healthy & Unhealthy Systems


(23.5 Minute Video)

Is discerning an unhealthy system difficult for you?
it is the norm for your family of origin or culture?


We live in a multitude of systems: family, ethnic, cultural, educational, business, governmental, religious, etc. and are influenced by all of them.  Some of the systems are healthy but many are unhealthy and create great stress in our lives.  It is helpful to understand how to clearly identify the types of systems which impact us daily.

The Healthy System has boundaries which are flexible and adaptable.  People within this system are encouraged to think for themselves, to grow and develop their potential, yet have healthy boundaries for protection and guidance.  It is based upon mutual respect and is open to new ideas.

Two major Unhealthy Systems:

  1. Unquestioned Obedience to Authority This controlling system has high walls, rigid rules and rejects all outside influences.  The people within have no right to object and are vulnerable to abuse by the authority.
  2. No Rules – No Boundaries! This system is based upon feeling entitled to do what I want to do when I want to do it.  It leads to addictions and irresponsibility.  Without boundaries, children raised in this system lack protection and guidance and suffer from neglect.